They say if you were part of a trend the first time, you must be careful about participating when it comes back around. While I was growing up, scrunchies for one’s hair were very popular. We even wore them on our wrists, stacked like colorful bracelets, ready to make an updo or a ponytail at a moment’s notice. Recently, scrunchies have made a comeback and a new generation has discovered their allure. Honestly, I have mixed feelings about this. They were always cute on the thick haired girlies, but my fine locks were never the glorious showcase for those oversized fabric bands.

They weren’t a particularly good look on my hair, and it turns out not so good for my face, either. You see, I have found that when I get overtaxed, it results in a “scrunch.” I don’t exactly know how to describe it, but basically, my internal state feels drawn and pinched. In no time at all, the scrunch spreads and I look and feel both frustrated and irritable.

I first noticed the scrunch last term. I was doing my Spanish homework and suddenly, I felt (the word I used at the time) “salty.” Basically, a heady mix of annoyance and resentment that I was, at this stage in my life, doing homework. Never mind that I have loved learning Spanish and adored being with my classmates. In that moment, I questioned all my life choices and determined they had fully led me astray. (Feelings aren’t facts, y’all.) As soon as I realized I was scrunched, I decided to stop what I was doing and attend to whatever needs I had. It was surprisingly effective. I was absolutely knocked out by how I had a clear, internal prompt that could be so helpful. I remember telling both Kerri and my Aunt Linda about it. It seemed like such a game changer that I decided to be diligent about paying attention to the scrunch so I could head off any future “saltiness.”

I was doing well, honoring the scrunch, until a couple of weeks later. I don’t recall why I pressed on, but I felt the scrunch and didn’t heed its warning. By the time I finally stopped to attend to the scrunch, I felt terrible – internally and about my failure to follow through on my plan.

Armed with new resolve, I set out again and ended up using that strategy to have a better mindset about the term.

A couple of weeks ago, I realized that the scrunch happens not only with homework, but in basically any situation where I have an internal need I am not heeding.

My guess is that all of us have a “scrunch” but it’s likely we are not consistently in tune with it. Tight schedules, too many responsibilities, bad behavior from others, heavy traffic, things that can’t be controlled, but inevitably produce that unmistakable pinch.

So what should we do?

1. Determine your own scrunch. Does your neck or back feel tight, is your stomach in a knot, or it might be a sudden feeling of simply being drained. Get clear on the signs that your scrunch has shown up.
2. Figure out what will help resolve the scrunch. Like me, you likely have a bit of low blood sugar, are feeling a bit dehydrated, or perhaps you are simply tired. Whatever is producing the scrunch, attend to it as soon as possible.
3. Rinse and repeat. The more you practice, the easier it gets to notice and attend to the needs you have without letting it get out of hand. When I respect the scrunch, I am able to manage myself and my emotions more easily. I don’t have to feel guilty or do an apology tour.

Whether or not you decide to put a scrunchie in your hair (you do you) I suggest you notice when something puts a scrunch on your face. Because, ultimately, trends will come and go, but being a better version of ourselves? Well, that’s always in style.